Top 10 actual excerpts from classified sections of newspaper

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Staff

Published: February 18 2004

b>1.</b> Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once; you’ll never go anywhere again.

<b>2.</b> Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included.

<b>3.</b> Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.

<b>4.</b> 3-year-old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred.

<b>5.</b> Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.

<b>6.</b> Dinner Special – Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00

<b>7.</b> We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.

<b>8.</b> Great Dames for sale.

<b>9.</b> Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.

<b>10.</b> Stock up and save. Limit: one.