Women should submit to piercings and facial tattoos

Home Archived Opinion Women should submit to piercings and facial tattoos

Margaret Carr

Published 28 2004

I have recently read it argued on an online Christian message board that Christian women should wear skirts exclusively, and keep their hair long, for the purpose of reinforcing that they are beneath men in the great chain of authority.

To that effect, why not just pierce their noses instead? 

It probably would be more comfortable in the long run than wearing skirts all the time, and more convenient than having long hair.

But, it would nonetheless firmly impress upon the woman the fact that men are superior, and that they have every right to poke little holes in her anytime they feel her ego needs deflating.  And every morning when she would look in the mirror and see that nose ring, she would know that a man put it there, and be properly awed.

A facial tattoo would also be suitable for this function.  After the peremptory healing process, it would be even more comfortable and convenient than a nose piercing, and much more parmanent. 

It would leave an indelible smear of male dominance forever under her skin, where everyone could see it, and there would be no denying it, no removing it, no possible rebellion of any kind.

Other more complex and inconvenient practices have been utilized by other cultures for the same purpose for hundreds of years.  Until the 1920s, common practice in China was to smash the bones in the feet of girls aged three to seven, and bind them tightly with bandages so that they atrophied and never grew bigger than, ideally, three inches in length.

To walk on these “golden lotuses” faster than an inching shuffle, or farther than half a mile, was agony; but it was rumored to develop certain muscles in the vagina over time, which would greatly increase the male partner’s pleasure during sex. 

Certain tribes in Africa and the Middle East routinely cut a woman’s clitoris off and sew her labia together when she reaches puberty, so she will never know the pleasure of sex, and will therefore remain sexually faithful to her husband.  These methods are very effective ways of proving the man’s dominance upon the woman’s body, but they unfortunately often cripple the woman so that she can no longer contribute to society.

However, a woman with a facial tattoo or a nose piercing would still be physically fit enough to hold a job.

Also humble enough not to mind bringing home a paycheck that is 25 percent to 50 percent less than that of a man who holds the same job, because it goes without saying that the man is better at it than she is and needs it more than she does. 

She can then return home and relinquish her entire paycheck to her husband, cook dinner for him, submit to his marital rights in bed, bear his children, acquiesce, defer, surrender, yield, bow, concede, resign, give up.

What possible doubt could then exist, in the mind of that woman, that men rule over her?