Toady Worm
Published: February 18 2004
Toady, my boyfriend is always late. He is driving me crazy. Isn’t the girl the one who is supposed to be late? He primps in front of the mirror like he is getting ready to compete in a pageant. It is ridiculous. When we met he was rough around the edges and now he is a pretty boy. What do I do?</b>
I’m cool with pimpin’ but not primpin’. If you don’t like pretty boys, that’s cool because I have never been a pretty boy.
Wait, we are not talking about me, are we?
Sorry, I was on player mode.
Have you explained to him that you like men who are rough around the edges?
The good news is – once a thug, always a thug. Like Tupac said, “We got to start makin’ changes.”
Start wearing your pants baggy and talkin’ with street slang and maybe he will get the hint, fo’ shizzle.
Valentine’s Day was a disaster, Toady – my girlfriend bought me a cat. She bought me a cat, Toady! Now I have to act like I love cats. (I named him Toady by the way.) I keep Toady in the bathroom so he doesn’t bother me. But when my girlfriend comes over, I have to let Toady out and pretend to be all “lovey- dovey.” What do I do?
You can name your cat whatever you want, but Toady is a road dog.
This is the classic situation in which a girlfriend is marriage-minded and wants to test the waters and see if you are a good father. RUN!!
There is a girl in my English comp class who wants me to write her narrative essay for her. She is super fine. Should I throw ethics out the window and go for the blue ribbon?</b>
If you want a blue ribbon, join the 4-H club. This girl is playing you like a bad golf game.
What you need to do is flip the script. Become the player instead of the playee.
You need to write a narrative essay that depicts a woman getting expelled from college for “player-giarism.”
I think your column is awesome and I need your advice. I met this guy online about six months ago. We never really got to know each other until about two months ago. He lives in Delaware and I live in Indiana. We have been talking on the phone and through e-mails. Do you think it’s worthwhile to have a long distance relationship?
I think it is worthwhile to have a relationship of any kind. Maybe, if you two are together in a few months you can plan to meet in a mutual location.
Please, don’t have unsafe cyber sex. Protect yourself before you wreck yourself.