Moving in before marriage

Home Archived Opinion Moving in before marriage

By Jade Lantz

Published on December 5, 2007

In today’s society, it is becoming more prominent that couples are moving in together before marriage.  People often move in together for purposes of getting to know one another better, for financial reasons, and for security and mental stability.  Society allows this to occur because we understand that getting married is a significant decision to make and people need to experience living with their partner to ensure they are making the right decision.

When couples move in with one another they are able to deepen their relationship by spending more time with each other and seeing what their mate is really like.  Usually when boyfriends and girlfriends hang out together, it is for a few hours a day or every few days.   They often are excited to see each other and treat their partners nicely.  When one moves in with their partner, they see them constantly.  People get to know the real person in which they are dating.  Habits are observed and decisions are made.  If a person sees problems with their partners’ habits, they can choose to deal with them or to not deal with them.  If it is something they cannot deal with, they can decide that maybe marriage is not the right decision for them, or at least not until the issue is solved.

Financial stability is a very common incentive for a couple to move in together before getting married.  When living with a partner, expenses are cut almost by half.  Instead of paying two house mortgages or rent, together they will be splitting one.  Bills will also be easier to pay if they are split between two people.  This will in turn allow both partners to save more money.  Subconsciously this may help to strengthen the relationship.  If a couple is less worried about money, they will be able to give more attention and put greater effort into their relationship.  Couples often agree that effort and attention help make bonds healthier between one another.  Before marriage, it is important for a couple to have this strong bond.

Individuals often move in with their companions for security reasons.  Couples often have trust in one another but it is hard to tell what activities their partners engage in when they are not present.  When a couple lives together, their mental stability increases.  This is because they are able to keep “tabs” on one another.  However, if couples feel the need to move in with each other for this reason predominantly, they may decide that the relationship is not strong enough for marriage.  They also may discover ways to resolve their trust issues.  Because the divorce rates are so high in society today, security reasons are realistic grounds for making the decision to move in together. 

 Moving in with one’s significant other before marriage allows one to see what marriage would be like with their partner, and if they can live comfortably with that person or not.  It also will allow a couple to conserve money by splitting bills as well as helping an unstable couple gain trust in their partner before marriage