The unFAIR

By Heather Madden

Published on November 7, 2007

Fall is always a glorious time of year- when the fair comes and brings joy to all.  But as you all know, the fair has come and gone.  What did we gain from this?  Scars on our wallets and disdain towards the childhood joy that is the fair.

Every year the same thing happens to me, I get excited about the fair, and once I am there I vow never to go again.  I guess it’s the little kid in me; who didn’t have to worry about costs of wristbands, admission and fair food; that likes this money trap.  Once I go to the fair I realize how miserable it is and the cycle repeats. 

No matter what, something bad always comes out of the fair.  If it’s not vertigo, psychological wounds, seizures, vomiting, staff infections, or clogged arteries- it’s always something else.

Last year I went to the fair and tried to save money by parking at the bank.  My car was broken into, and all of my cherished goods were stolen in a lit, surveillanced parking lot.  This year I paid the extra $5 and I couldn’t afford food for my little cousins.

With the change I had left from the fair, the kids wanted a candy apple.  I scrounged up $3, which was enough to split one candy apple between the three of them-according to the menu.  But the lady said the candy apples had sprinkles on them and charged 50 cents extra.  Needless to say we hit up a dollar menu afterwards.

So what gives?  I don’t understand $17 wristbands, $9 admissions, $5 parking and after all of these fees you are “supposed” to buy food from the vendors and have enough left over to see the world’s smallest lady?  No thanks.   

So many of us, including myself get so excited about the fair even though we know it is a black hole for money and a breeding ground for sickness.  Is there any end?  Of course not.  The Reithoffer Midway isn’t going under any time soon, and as long as people keep reproducing there will always be a fair. 

What do we gain from this-nothing.  We will go again next year and the cycle will never end.