Brandi Snodgrass
Published: March 29, 2006
This war between the Humanities and Science Departments has got to end. I was outraged to hear that PJC student Ali Babwa was found dead in a chemistry lab! And his body was mutilated by paint. This is just awful!
I am an artist and this offends me. I know the Painters are of the leftist belief that they must run around nude, like the models they depict, and paint their enemies to death, but this is ridiculous.
Not to say that Babwa didn’t get what he deserved; after all, he was an activist and was the leader of the militia group Chemista who works in accordance with the Communist Cats. Those Communist Cats stir up trouble wherever they go.
It is still unknown as to how or why this war got started. I believe this war began the day the aliens chose to land at the art building instead of the sciences building. This caused a bitter feud which ultimately resulted in war.
There are no official suspects but I have a firm belief that this was an inside job. Professor Litter, assistant (chemical slave) to Babwa, had a strong hatred for him. Litter was seen last Tuesday having lunch with Meowsolini, Fidel Catro’s brother and second in command of the Communist Cats.
Meowsolini and Fidel Catro, though they don’t like to admit it, are extremely competitive with each other. At last year’s annual PJC Picnic on the Lawn Meowsolini lost the potato sack race against his brother. Meowsolini suffers from an inferiority complex and wants to take his brother down.
We should not let these Communist Cats cloud our minds. I say the Humanities and Sciences department make up and prepare for battle with the Communist Cats.